Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Trailer Trash Girls

My old pappy used to always say, the good Lord looks out for babies and fools.  Sometimes I think the glamping gods are against us, but I have to tell you, a lot of my and Thelma's misfortunes are self-induced. Hence, the good Lord part.

Belvidere Pat, our new BFF who led us by mule golf cart to our site, was quite the Kentucky Gentleman.  He told us to sit tite whilst he saved the day and went back up the hill fer a gas can. He returned with enough fuel to park Bella and drive DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200, GO DIRECTLY!!! to the nearest convenience store to fill 'er up. God. I thought I left my husband at home.

Plum woe out from dodging the law driving all day, Sister Thelma happily gave her keys to Pat when he insisted on backing Bella into our campsite. I thought, knock yoreself out, big guy. I don't think Cindy minded playing the damsel in distress card. God knows I didn't.  But, considering parking the trailer is a big to-do for us wannabe cowgirls, Pat had some big nuts to crack in front of the crowd of Sisters who had gathered to watch the Pritchett-Smith show. He knew all eyes would be on him.

Not only did he git'r done on his first attempt, he went on to level the trailer and unhitch her as well. I offered to pay him for the gas and his time, but he would not accept saying,  "if I gave out of gas at your house, wouldn't you do the same for me?"  Such a southern gentleman, I thought, but I could've easily paid him with all the money we saved from blowing through tollbooths without paying.

We stabilized Bella, hooked up the electricity, and unpacked the Suburban. It was quite windy, so we elected to not put up Bella's awning.

The sun was setting, and we needed to gas up and git us sum vittles.

Never squat with your spurs on.  -Old Pappy

Before heading out, we swung by the pavilion and got a look-see of some mighty sweet door prizes our hostesses had wrangled up for a drawing. Feeling guilty about the toll quarters we stole had on hand, we chose to support a charitable cause and bought raffle tickets with them. If we won, we would share the likka with our Sisters.  My mercy, it was the least we could do. Pay it forward, my old pappy used to always say.

We drove into the nearest cow town for some grub and a drink or four. And gas...I have to say, we actually debated on whether we should get gas first or find a restaurant, ha. Living on the edge, my old pappy used to always say.  We quickly came to our senses and pulled into the first convenience store to fill up. 

When we coasted into the campground earlier, we totally missed our welcome sign from our hostesses.

Lights were out early for me and Thelma. We needed ample rest to prepare for a monumental task the following morning. Something we had never done before as Sisters on the Fly. Indeed it was a huge undertaking, but it was high time me and Thelma earned our cooking badge. We would be making breakfast for our Sisters on our never-before-used Coleman burner. We would prepare a hefty skillet of chicken-apple sausage fried up with sweet Vidalia onions and bell peppers. Yep, we was gone stink up the trailer park in good fashion. Folks was gone wake up thinking Jerry's Hotdogs done pulled in and set up camp overnight, it was gone be smellin' so good.

As we were nestled all snug in our sweet little shabby chic bed ensembles, we had horrific flashbacks visions of the day's earlier mishaps events dancing in our heads.

Terror at the tollbooth

No words

Pat:  Let's hope this works, and there's nothing major wrong with your truck.
Thelma:  Louise, PRAY!

And y'all thought I had destroyed all admissible evidence, ha.


  1. Oh shit snuck one in on me. I didn't know you had evidence of the pull through on the pumps. LMAO

  2. Oh shit snuck one in on me. I didn't know you had evidence of the pull through on the pumps. LMAO

  3. Fun post...glad there was evidence of all the stuff we each go through when out on our first trips...thanks for sharing.

  4. My old pappy used to always say...justtt kidding ...Always takes lots of pictures and a notebook. Thanks for reading!