Friday, March 28, 2014

On the Dodge From the Law


Interrogating Sister-Sister-in-Law Cindy, her face hidden by a bandana.

WANTED! IN THREE STATES:  Tennessee, Virginny, and North Kackalacky
Now, I ain't saying what crime Sister Cindy allegedly committed, only that she was questioned by the law whilst in Tennessee. I know'd it won't for haulin' likker 'cross state lines cause we drank that up before we left. Nevertheless, Thelma had always been a thorn in the sheriff's short ribs, and it was high time we got the hell outta Dodge City 'fore he pinned something else on Sister Cindy.  
The Bandit Queen AKA Belle Starr AKA the notorious Sister Cindy - and y'all thought Bella got her name from a vampire movie - and sweet lil 'ol me spent Sunday morning packing the mule up for the trip home. Even though we was on the run, we still made time for coffee and socializing not knowing if this would be the last time we'd ever see our Sisters on the outside of the pokey. Besides, Belle Starr ain't never been a'feared of much,' specially no posse full of fat-bellied lawmen.  Until...
Unable to determine direction of sound, I screamed, "CINDY!!!!"
"Omigod!," replied Cindy with a startled look.
By now I had practically climbed over the console towards Cindy, screaming, "What just hit us? Did we get rear-ended?!!!"
"Omigod, Louise, the tractor-trailer right beside us blew a tire. Holy crap, that scared the shet outta me."
A little shaken, Cindy managed to keep Bella under control, avoiding the flying tire debris. Always two steps ahead of the sheriff, we continued fleeing Tennessee and Virginia, driving off into the sunset. Wait. Shet. The sun sets in the west. Everwhat.  

Until the next rodeo, betches.  Our next Sisters on the Fly event, Horsin' Round the Bluegrass, is in Georgetown, Kentucky where, by the way, the Tennessee marshal and his posse have no jurisdiction.  Even if he did come lookin' us, Sister Cindy has been known to ride a hoss faster'n bad news travels at a church social. The real Sister Louise and her outlaw gang fellow hostesses have rustled horses for all the Sisters, and Cindy can't wait to straddle hers and show off her equestrian skills. What better way than to wage a little bet on a Derby-type competition between the Bandit Queen and the long arm of the law.
Place yore bets now, y'all! 

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